


What if I trust - A crimson Tale

by ForthehonorofMe



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Crimson Waste, F/F, Love, Multi, catradora
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29803086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForthehonorofMe/pseuds/ForthehonorofMe
Summary: What if Catra stays in the Crimson Waste in S3, after Scorpia offers to stay with her?Catra decides to go for it, to leave her old life behind and make a new start.  She stays in the Crimson Waste and is the new leader of it. She has everything she ever wanted. She is free and serves no one.Still it´s not perfect. Catra feels somethings missing.One day an intrudor shows up and is messing up her life that has just been put right.And this time she may not be able to restore it ...
Relationships: Catradora (She Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work.  
> English is not my first language, so feel free to correct my writing! Also any form of (constructive) criticism is welcome! :)

Catra:

„Didn´t you hear me? Move faster, you idiot!“ The lizard with the ugly face nods terrified and hurried up to pile the boxes full of new weapons and then bolts out of the hall. An Eye – rolling Catra looks after the assistant, who manages to get out of her sight as soon as possible. With her head shaken, the Magicat turns away and looks down at the boxes at her feet. Cautiously she bends down and pulls out a saber to take a closer look. The weapons are in a really good condition, she observes satisfied. The dexterity of the Crimson Occupants is getting better. Not yet perfect, but much better than it was a year ago. A faint smirk comes across her face, as she remembers the little knife she took from one of those gang idiots a year ago, at her arrival at the Crimson Waste. It had been sloppily processed, no comparison to these new pieces. Satisfied, she puts the saber back in the box to look at the rest of the contents. The weapons are very different: Swords, arches, slingshots and one weapon Catra likes in particular. It was invented just recently by some of the talented engineers of the former gangs: Some kind of pistol, which is held with both hands and from which stones the size of the palm of the hand are shot at their victims. For Comparison, the Magicat´s gaze snaps to her own arms. A dagger and the wip she took from Tung Lashor back then. Both arms are always strapped at her belt, because even if she is the leader of the Crimson Occupants, she´s not so stupid as to believe that she can wander around unprotected and be safe.Even in her own room. Not, that anyone dared to attack the strongest of the Crimson Waste, but still. And it doesn´t bother Catra to constantly walk around armed. She is used to that permanent vigilance. In a way it almost feels native, because at this point the Crimson Waste doesn´t distinguish itself from the Horde. The thought of her former home immediately creates a dark cloud over Catra`s good mood. Anger grips her, as she resolutely waves her hands to vanish it and turns away. She forbids herself to think about her previous life. She left it behind and made a new start. At least that is what she tells herself. Resolutely she marches out of the small hall. When she steps out the door, she turns to the two guys she has posted as guards in front of the room. “No one enters this room without my permission. We can´t risk the boxes to be stolen. Understand?! And tomorrow you will take them to the Warehouse!”, Catra demands harsh and louring. Inwardly she has to grin, as she notices the legs of the guards beginning to flicker. “Y-yes, strongest!”, one finally replies. With a silent nod the leader of the Crimson Waste turns around and leaves the building made of stone. It is much more resilient than the previous shacks the occupants called their home. When Catra steps outside, she remembers how she changed this circumstances a year ago. How she turned a few refugee villages into strong and robust cities. For that she used the knowledge she gained back in the Ho- She stops herself from continuing that thought. Instead, she thinks Former. Back when I lived another life.  
But she didn´t change everything.

Composed, Catra strolls through the streets out of the city and into the unspoiled part of the Waste. Here she pauses for a moment and stretches her face towards the bright afternoon sun. It shines warm at her face, and because she does not perceive anyone in her vicinity, she allows herself one moment of tranquility. To let go of her thoughts, that bother her. To just be herself for one secound. But she doesn´t succeed. This isn´t news for Catra, so she just blinks a few times towards the sky and continues her walk. She can´t relax, can´t let got. The risk of someone stabbing her in the back is too high. To prevent that she has to stay in control.  
At a rockface she stops and jumps up gritty. Her claws find a lot of grip under the rough, uneven rock, and so she starts climbing the wall. She climbs effortlessly in the hope that her occupation will steer her thoughts in other directions. There was a time when it was different. Back then she could relax, felt safe, at least as far as the circumstances allowed. She could trust. When this thought penetrates her consciousness, she grabs a new hold with her hand, but misses and slips. Before she knows t, she falls a few meters into the deep. Startled, she rams her claws into the rock as hard as she can and roars in pain as the stone scratches her nails like a huge sharp file. But her maneuver works and she can slow down her fall in order to find the right footing again. She pauses for a moment and only hears her loud gasps and the soft whistling of the warm wind. As she looks up at the end of the rock face, anger and ferocious determination grabs her. She can´t be stopped by something like that. She's Catra, she's been through a lot worse. Such a small rough rock will not conquer her! Spurred on by her thoughts, she feels new energy flowing through her muscles and makes a determined leap upwards. And then another. And another one. After a few jumps, she reaches the end and reached the top. As safe as a cat, she lands on the top of the rock face in one leap and lets her gaze wander over the new perspective like a military leader over a newly conquered land. The view from up here is breathtaking. The blue sky contrasts beautifully with the red of the sand and the rocks of the desert. The city can be seen from the distance as a white dot between all the red.  
Thoughtfully, Catra looks at the horizon. Of course - the Crimson Waste can, especially for outsiders, be a place of hell that hides death traps everywhere and, if you are not careful, devours you alive. But this place is more than that. It has a wild beauty about it, raw and untouched, which cannot be tamed by anyone and which does not follow any rules. A little like herself, thinks Catra, now almost amused. She has given the Crimson Occupants a little structure and better living conditions, but she has not changed the desert itself. Nobody could do that, and she doesn't even want to. Absently, she gazes at the land at her feet before feeling pain in her fingers. Immediately she remembers the painful maneuver and looks down at her hands to assess the damage. Little rivulets of blood run between her fingers and her claws look terrible to say the least. A couple of nails just broke off, others splintered or split open.  
But it is not permanent damage. Her claws will grow back quickly. Even if it's a shame. Catra grumpily clenches her hand into a fist and looks into space. She should have been more careful! If only her thoughts hadn't distracted her so much! A snort full of frustration escapes her and she furiously kicks a stone away from her foot. Usually she is in control. She is focused and doesn´t let herself get distracted. In her position she cannot allow even one mistake. And yet it happens. Not often, and not accidentally. Only when she thinks of…  
Quickly, the Magicat suppresses its thoughts by simply by starting to run. She runs away, as fast as she can. Maybe her thoughts can´t reach her then, maybe they aren't running as fast as she is. Maybe she can escape them.

Hours later, long since evening, she reached the huge building in the middle of the city. It is the first building erected in Catra's name and has many functions. She can gather the residents of the Crimson Waste in the great hall, important things can be planned, discussed and managed, and sometimes parties are also held here. But most importantly, this is where Catra has set up her room. That´s exactly where she´s headed, because she is tired from running so much. Before she went back into town, she did a quick wash of the cat so that no one notices how exhausted she is. That would be a sign of weakness, and weakness is not allowed here if you want to survive. Tired, but in a much better mood than a few hours ago, she pushes open the front door and ignores the guards standing next to it. Purposefully, she walks through the corridors, heading for her room when a voice holds her back. "Catra, there you are! I was already worried!" As the Magicat turns around, she sees Scorpia running towards her. She knows Scorpia means well, but she can't help rolling her eyes. Instead of responding to her concern, she changes the subject. "I didn't see you this morning, Scorpia. Why didn't you go to the gun inspection? I told you that's your job!"  
The tall woman immediately grimaces in front of her, full of remorse. "Ohh, I'm so sorry, Catra! But I had such a nice chat this morning with that snake woman from the kitchen. I must have forgotten the time ... But she made such excellent sandwiches! I begged her to give me the recipe, but you wouldn´t believe how stubborn - " “Okay, okay! I got it!" Catra interrupts her and gasps in annoyance. At the same time, she admonishes herself not to sound too harsh. Scorpia is the only one she trus - ... the only one which she is sure of that Catra really matters to her and doesn't just obey her because she's the strongest. So she takes a deep breath before declaring, less harshly, "Just make sure it doesn't happen again." She hesitates before adding, "It would be ... easy to have help next time." Scorpia's expression brightens and a look of surprise crosses her face. Her eyes seem to take on a new glow as she eagerly agrees. "Yes, of course! That won't happen anymore. I promise!" Before she can prevent it, Catra winces at the last word. Promise. She hates that word. Fortunately, hardly anyone uses it here. Not like these princesses, who make promises as easy as breathing, only to break them at the first opportunity. If Scorpia noticed the Magicat's mood change, she doesn't show it. "Oh, and I have something to show you! Come on, you'll love it for sure!"  
Catra groans as Scorpia grabs her hand and pulls it with her. "Urgh, Scorpia, please! I don't feel like looking at anything right now. That can wait until tomorrow, I want to go to bed!" But Scorpia doesn't seem to hear her at all. Since she doesn't feel like discussing, Catra lets the big woman drag her along and hopes that it won't hold her up for too long. Finally, the two of them stop in front of the great hall. Scorpia steps forward and grabs the door handle. She almost seems embarrassed. "You know, I'm not sure you will like it, but of course I hope you will, I mean if not then it's okay too …" 

Beside Scorpia's babbling, Catra's ear begins to twitch because she can hear feet from the room. Her muscles tense instinctively, but before she can think about it, Scorpia tears open the doors and the Magicat stares completely unprepared into a mass of faces that are looking at her curiously. She struggles to resist the impulsive urge to jump back and instead looks inquiringly at Scorpia. "What's that supposed to be?" The other person grins. "Happy Anniversary, Wildcat!" The Magicat looks back into the room, confused. Most of the city seem to be gathered here. And now, as if the woman next to her had given the crowd a sign, they break out in unanimous roars in cheers. She notes with surprise that the cheers apply to Catra. Then she discovers a banner hanging over one of the windows. One year the strongest, it says. Still confused, but no longer so tense, she looks at Scorpia, who steps into the room next to her. "An anniversary celebration?" concludes the leader and Scorpia nods.  
"Today it has been exactly a year since you took the lead here. I thought that may be a reason to celebrate." Catra blinks for a moment, then swallows her surprise and turns back into the calm, strong, controlled leader. With a self-assured grin, she walks across the room, people willingly make way for her. "Well, if that is the case...," she calls out loudly and climbs the platform at the end of the hall. There is a stone armchair on top. A throne, others would call it, but Catra does not define it as such. Thrones are for princesses. She wasn't one. This is simply a seat that had existed before her, and only the strongest of the Crimson Waste was allowed to sit on it. On a throne one signals one's own superiority. Catra uses the stone chair to keep an eye on her entourage. When she reaches the armchair, however, she freezes. And with her the crowd behind her. Someone is already sitting in the armchair.


	2. Chapter 2

Catra:

“Tung Lashor?” Catra ejects, genuinely surprised to see him here. In HER place, of all places. The oversized lizard grins at her and bares its sharp teeth. "See you again, Catra!" He literally spits out her name and pierces her with his gaze. Catra realizes that the whole thing is only there to intimidate her, but that would not work. Almost bored, she puts one hand on her hip and shifts her weight onto one leg while she looks at him disinterestedly. "The last time I saw you, you were up to your neck in quicksand. You know, when you tried so pathetically to fight me."

A murmur goes through the crowd and the Magicat can hear how everyone is eagerly pushing a little closer to the spectacle. Her words turn the lizard's pupils into narrow slits in front of her. Oh yeah, he's mad at her. Good. Anger means loss of control. She triumphantly watches how Tung Lashor's body tenses further as she continues: "Honestly, did you make an effort at all back then? Even a small child would have been harder to defeat!" Her ears twitch as a few laughs penetrate the otherwise quiet room. That only incites the former leader further. With an angry face he yells at Catra: "I want a revenge! Back then you worked with tricks. You don't deserve this place!"

Her response consists of a raised eyebrow. Inwardly, however, it also begins to simmer in her. Whether he wanted it that way or not, Tung Lashor hit a sore spot. Next to her someone is climbing the stairs. Scorpia. She looks at the Magicat questioningly. "Shall we take care of it?" Before the tall woman can go a step further, Catra's arm snaps to the side and stops her, eyes still on the lizard. "No," she says aloud, but calmly. A small, evil smile forms on her face. "Let him. Everyone should see who 'deserves' to be the strongest of the Crimson Waste." Then she turns to the crowd and shouts even louder: "Besides, there should be a show, or not?"

Approving calls come in response. Tung Lashor seems anything but enthusiastic about her formulation. Electrified by his anger, he rises from the stone armchair and approaches Catra. "This is not a show, this is my revenge!" He growls. The little evil smile turns into a wide, hungry grin on Catra's face. "We will see about that."

Like hungry animals, the two begin to circle each other. But Tung Lashor can't stand it for long. Without warning, he rushes forward and tries to push Catra off the steps. However, she is prepared for it and evades. The lizard reaches into the void and almost falls from the steps itself, but he can still catch itself. Snorting, he turns to his opponent. This one still grins challengingly. "I'm over here, old lizard!" He dares a new attempt and rushes towards Catra, but she leaps backwards and lands elegantly with her feet on the seat of the stone armchair. Tung Lashor growls angrily: "Do you want to keep evading or do we finally start fighting?" The smug smile doesn't go away when Catra replies, "I thought you'd never ask." Then - without warning - she leaps at him and jumps in his face. The lizard did not expect such a direct attack, which is why he cannot evade in time and is knocked to the ground.

Catra can catch herself and gets to her feet in a flash, and before Tung Lashor can imitate her, the Magicat gives him a hook on the chin. He tries to reach for her and gets hold of her hair. When he tears out a few of them, Catra begins to hiss angrily and without further ado gives him a powerful kick in the stomach, which throws him off the stairs. With a groan he hits the ground hard. When he wants to get up, Catra grabs her belt and takes the wip. In an instant, her arm snaps out and she throws the wip out. Tung Lashor can only watch helplessly as he is wrapped in the whip like a rope in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Catra jumps elegantly from the steps and lands directly in front of her opponent, who is tied up in front of her. A surprised, grim sound escapes him as she holds her dagger to his throat. "I would say the fight is over," explains Catra, almost purring.

For a moment she gleefully gazes at the hatred in the lizard's eyes, which does not contradict. Then she turns away from him and shouts into the crowd: "Does anyone else want to challenge me?" Nobody dares to speak up. Catra triumphantly holds out her arms and yells: "Who is the strongest of the Crimson Waste?" Thereupon enthusiastic calls ring out with her name. "Well, now that this has been resolved, we can finally celebrate!" This statement receives almost more approval. As the crowd begins to amuse themselves, the Magicat takes a look at the still tied Tung Lashor. "Scorpia, take care of him." Scorpia, who has been standing at the edge of the stairs the whole time, nods eagerly. "Naturally!" Catra thinks she hears a trace of pride in her voice. But maybe she's wrong. Satisfied, the strongest of the Crimson Waste turns to the stone armchair and climbs the steps to take her DESERVED seat.

For a while she observes the hustle and bustle and the exuberant atmosphere. She hardly participates in it herself, but lets herself be praised a few times by some residents who have since become drunk. After a few hours, however, she has had enough. Without an explanation, she gets up and leaves the room. The celebrants are not bothered by it. Probably they didn't even notice. Instead of going straight to her room, she makes a little detour to the roof. Hardly anyone goes up here, as the building is very tall and most of the residents are afraid of heights. 

Catra, on the other hand, likes to be up here. Here she has her peace and quiet, and the view is similar to that from the top of the rock face at noon today. Except that it is already deep night, the air is now cold and it is in the middle of the city. The fresh air is good for her after being in for so long. For a moment she listens to the partying, whose noise her ears can still hear. It's been a year since she landed here. A year since she decided to stay here with Scorpia and build a new life for herself. A HAPPY life. And she was. Happy. Or not? She has everything she wants: everyone here obeys her, she has proven several times that she is the strongest. She can do what she wants, go where she wants and no one contradicts her. Everything seems perfect.

Yet Catra can't shake off the feeling that she was hoping to somehow ... feel different. At the same time, she cannot explain what is wrong with her. She has everything she always wanted. She feels a stab in her heart at this thought. No, she corrects herself. That is not completely correct. She stares darkly at the horizon. Not 'everything' she always wanted is here. 

The Magicat immediately feels as if she has betrayed herself. A torrent of frustration and anger builds up in her stomach. This is nonsense! She furiously hits the cold stone below with her fist. She has everything she needs. She doesn't WANT any more! The anger at herself is now so strong that she has to breathe loudly and deeply a few times to calm down. Catra is sure she is just confused. It's been a long day, that's all.

"Catra?" Scorpia's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. She hears someone climbing the stairs to the roof, but doesn't turn around for fear that her face might reveal her emotions. "There you are! Hey, are you okay?" She hears the tall woman's footsteps approaching and nods. "Yes." Still looking straight ahead, she hears Scorpia sit down next to her. It's quiet between the two for a moment before Catra lowers her head and hesitantly says: "That was a good idea. The party, I mean." "Oh!" She doesn't look, but is almost certain that Scorpia's cheeks are turning a light pink.

"Do you think so? I mean, thank you! It's nice that you like it!" "Hmm" Catra draws her legs towards her and puts her head on her knees. Scorpia does the same and for a while they are both just silent next to each other. The woman with the white hair seems to notice that the Magicat doesn't want to have a conversation at the moment. At some point her eyes fall on Catra's hands. She breathes in with a hiss. "Catra! You are hurt!" The Magicat's gaze brushes her hands almost bored. The hand with which she hit the stone earlier still has a little fresh blood on her knuckles. "It's nothing. It will heal fast.", she explains, to drop the subject as quickly as possible. Her words don't seem to reassure Scorpia, however.

"It's best to have a healer take care of it. It could catch fire." "I said I'm fine!", Catra exclaims irritably and her gaze snaps to the person next to her. Scorpia opens her eyes in shock and the Magicat immediately regrets her reaction. So she takes a deep breath and says in a calmer tone, "I appreciate that you're worried, but I'm fine." Then she gets up and turns away. "I'm tired. See you tomorrow!" She still hears Scorpia saying good night to her before she climbs off the roof and makes her way to her room.

The next morning, Catra gets up early, as she does every day. However, she does not leave the room immediately, but looks at her hands. The blood on her fingers and knuckles has long since dried. Maybe Scorpia is right, she thinks. It doesn't hurt to wash off the blood. So she grabs a bucket of water and a rag and cleans her hands from the red remains. She works very quickly in order to have as little contact as possible with the water. Then she looks at her broken claws. She'll have to cut it, she realizes regretfully. Otherwise, the nails could break even further. She looks around uncomfortably in the almost empty room for a suitable tool. She doesn't like the thought of having to defuse one of her innate weapons. But it has to be. In a small chest of drawers she finally discovers a kind of file and with a heavy heart begins to work on her claws.

When she's done, the claws are quite a bit shorter and blunt. The only thing that keeps Catra from falling into a miserable mood so early in the morning is the thought that they are growing very quickly. Before she leaves the room, she looks again at her reflection, which is reflected in the water of the bucket. It hardly looks changed, she notes. Her hair may be a little longer than it was a year ago, but she still wears the same face and clothes. The red, torn pants, the bright red bodysuit and the dark jacket that she had taken from someone. She is surprised to find that the sight ... disappoints her. As if she was expecting a change that didn't happen. In order not to have to think about it any further, she tears herself away from the reflection and walks out of the room. 

At lunchtime Catra sits on the stone armchair again and is just in the process of distributing some food supplies. Since the Magicat took over, the Crimson Waste has worked more like a unit. Everyone still stands for himself and Catra hasn't mutated into a benefactress either. It is just a strategy. There have been many fights and disputes over food. As Catra, as leader, distributes the available food to areas, a large part of the reasons for riot disappears and that in turn makes the work of the Magicat easier. It also strengthens her position. 

Scorpia is with her and helps her. She would never say it out loud, but in the last year Catra has learned to be comfortable around the woman with the white hair. She doesn't feel so lonely then, and it is good to know that someone who cares for her is around. In a little pause, she notices from the corner of her eye how Scorpia rubs her eyes. A sign of tiredness. A year ago she would have ignored her behavior. Now she decides to speak to her about it. "Did you sleep at all?" Scorpia's cheeks turn pink when she realizes it has been blown. She puts a hand on her neck, embarrassed. "Well, the guys celebrated a long time yesterday ... But don't worry, it won't affect my work!"

The Magicat almost smiled. Of course, Scorpia believed she was all about the quality of the work. Because even if Catra is really fond of Scorpia, she is extremely careful about showing it. As she has learned, she is abandoned by all the people who mean something to her. "Forget about work and go catch up on your sleep.", she therefore orders, shaking her head, careful not to show any emotions. "I can't work with you if you're not fully functional." She tries not to sound too rude, so she looks Scorpia in the face and puts on a soft expression.

Now she also notices the woman's disheveled white hair, as if she had just fallen out of bed this morning. Scorpia meanwhile looks surprised, but then beams at Catra and spreads her arms as if to embrace them. But then she decides against it, for which the Magicat is very grateful. "Thank you, Catra! In a few hours I'll be fresh and relaxed and I can give you a hand! You won't regret it!" With these words she runs out of the hall and waves goodbye with a big grin. 

Shaking her head, Catra is about to go back to her work when her ears twitch. She hears someone running towards the hall and a few moments later pushing the doors open to rush towards her. It's one of the city guards, Catra realizes. A fairly tall lizard, whose name she doesn't know. She can remember positioning him in front of the city because he looks so terrifying with his size and countless scars. At the moment, however, he doesn't look scary at all. He looks rather nervous. "What's going on? Why are you bothering me while I'm working?", Catra wants to know, annoyed, and straightens up to look more impressive. The guard begins to report eagerly: “Forgive me, strongest, but an intruder has entered the city!" Immediately the whole body of the Magicat tenses. It is only with difficulty that she suppresses the onset of her fur. Instead, she stands up and sees the guard firmly in the eyes. "What? Where?" "On the north side. Half an hour ago. But the five of us finally overpowered him." 

The tension in her body eases, but only a little. "Good. Are there any dead?" The guard shakes his head. "A few injuries, but we can keep working." "Was it an outsider? And was the intruder alone?" A nod in response. Catra looks the man in the eye and takes a step closer. "Are you absolutely sure?" "Yes, strongest. He's not from the Crimson Waste. And there was no one else there." "Let the area be searched anyway. We have to be safe. What did you do with the intruder?" "He's captured and kept safe." After hesitating, he adds: "And ... the intruder wants to speak to you." 

This statement makes Catra raise her eyebrows suspiciously. "With me?" A nod. "He asked about the leader." A thousand thoughts go through the Magicat's head. What´s that all about? Why is a stranger intruding into the Crimson Waste now of all times? And why does he want to talk to her? "Fine", she finally says, smiling coldly. "He should get his 'audience' from me. That way he can answer a few questions." Her hand slips casually to her belt as she turns around. “Get him!” She orders. The guard nods and runs out of the hall. Meanwhile, Catra takes a seat on the stone armchair again. She is ready to let the one who dared to penetrate here feel his mistake. And she is curious. She wants to know what causes a person to go to the Crimson Waste and mess with its residents. It smells like an act of desperation. Or a suicide attempt.

Your thoughts are interrupted when the door opens again and the guard walks in. "The prisoner is here!" he informs Catra and she nods. "Bring him in!" The door opens again and four guards enter, dragging a person with them in their midst. Catra instantly forgets to breathe. The person is handcuffed and her head droops, causing her blonde ponytail to fall forward.

The Magicat is captivated by the sight, shocked by what to expect. When the guards arrive right in front of the stairs, they stop. Catra silently pleads for a moment that she could turn back time. That she never calls these guards in and that the kneeling person in front of her would not raise her head under any circumstances. But fate is not gracious to her. So she has to watch how the figure slowly lifts its head and looks up at her. Catra knows what is coming, and yet the sight hits her as hard as a punch. Large, blue-gray eyes look at her with the same horror that she feels. "Catra?", asks Adora with that voice that is as painfully familiar as her own.


	3. Chapter 3

Catra:

For a moment, Catra is caught in a state of shock. It's Adora. She is really here. Her former best friend and later worst enemy kneels at her feet and looks just as surprised as she does. Then the Magicat catches herself again and tries to keep a calm demeanor. 'I'm in control. I'm in power ´, she remembers. With these thoughts she puts on a small smile that doesn´t reach her eyes. 

"Hey Adora," she almost purrs, now completely in control of her posture, determined to postpone all questions and feelings until later. The blonde woman still looks at her in shock. "What are you doing here? Are you -" It takes her a moment to put the puzzle together. "You are the leader of the Crimson Waste?" 

As if it were a matter of course, Catra crosses her legs and leans back. "Why? Does that surprise you?" Adora opens her mouth, but remains silent, not sure what to reply. A spark of hurt forms in the belly of the Magicat. Adora actually seems to have less confidence in her than she thought.

The silence of the prisoner gives Catra time to examine her more closely. Her clothes and face are filthy, presumably from the long journey, and her ponytail falls disheveled over her shoulders. Catra cannot detect any serious injuries, only a superficial cut runs across the left cheek. And despite all that, she's still as beautiful as a year ago. The magicat grits her teeth. It infuriates her that there is nothing that can deface Adora.

But she swallows her frustration and focuses on the situation. Calmly, the Magicat leans forward to look Adora in the face. "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you here. What is the heroine Etherias looking for in the Crimson Waste, of all places? And all by herself?" Her pupils narrow into slits. "You are alone, aren't you, Adora?" She watches the facial expressions of her arch enemy closely when she replies: "Yes, I came here alone." 

Adora doesn't even flinch and looks straight into Catra's eyes. The blonde woman has never been good at lying, especially not to Catra. That is why the Magicat believes her. She nods to the prisoner. "Good. And why are you here?" "Because I need help." This sentence lets Catra almost lose her composure. She expected a lot, but not with it. Unable to hide it, her smile widens. The Magicat was therefore right: Adora is apparently indeed desperate. 

"Help?" she hooks up and supports her chin with one hand. Adora nods. Her face is twisting in pain. No physical pain, but internal agony. "To fight the Horde. They are getting stronger every day, we have to stop them!" Catra looks disinterestedly at her claws.

"I thought you and your FRIENDS were already fighting over this job. Since when do you need help with it?" From the corner of her eye, Catra notices Adora tears welling up. "They can't help. We were lured into a trap and the Horde kidnapped Bow and Glimmer! The other princesses are in the process of evacuating the inhabitants of Etheria, but even together we hardly stand a chance! Hordak is getting stronger ... "

When Hordak's name is mentioned, Catra's fur stands up, but she tries to ignore it. Playfully disinterested, she drops her hand and looks back at Adora. She refuses to show her open interest in the next question, though she really want to know the answer. "Hmm and why doesn't the oh-so-powerful She Ra just take care of it? After all, she has always managed to get on my nerves!" When She Ra's name is mentioned, the guards react with a confused look. Here in the Crimson Waste, She Ra is nothing more than an ancient legend. Catra ignores her gaze and concentrates on the prisoner.

A suspicion creeps into the Magicat when she sees the dejected expression of the enemy. "I ... don't have the sword anymore.", Adora whispers, choked. "They ... they stole it when they kidnapped Glimmer and Bow too." Catra raises her eyebrows in surprise. It is quiet in the hall for a second. Then two. And then Catra can't take it any longer and bursts into roaring laughter. She can't help it. It sounds so absurd! The great and powerful princess warrior is defeated because her magic toy has been taken away from her!

The guards flinch at the strange noise. They have never experienced the strongest of crimson waste like this. She didn't even smile last year. Except maybe when she was alone or with Scorpia. When the Magicat calms down, she wipes her eyes with one hand and leans over to Adora again. "Okay, so I'll sum it up: You're totally screwed!" Adora's shoulders drop a bit and she lowers her head slightly. 

"That's why we need help! There were rumors that the Crimson Waste is not as deserted as it is always said. I was hoping to raise an army here or at least recruit a few warriors to fight with us in the rebellion! Then would we have a chance against the Horde! "

Adora cannot hide her despair in her voice. Something stirs in Catra at the sight of her and she doesn't dare look too long into the gray-blue eyes that look at her hopefully. Instead, she swallows her emotions and cocks her head in curiosity. "And why exactly should I help you?" 

The prisoner stretches her chin forward and looks stoically at her counterpart. "Because you won't be safe from the Horde either. After conquering Bright Moon and the other realms, Hordak will also take on the Crimson Waste. But we can prevent that if we work together!" Catra leans back, snorting. "I can manage on my own. We can defend ourselves." "Are you sure about that?" Throws in Adora and does not let go of the Magicat's gaze.

"You know the Horde, you know what they are capable of and how far they will go to achieve their goals. Do you think you will be able to do something about it?" With her eyes she seems to want to stab Adora when she replies sharply: "I am the strongest of the Crimson Waste. If I want something, I'll take it. Be it someone else's weapon or victory over a war." 

The determination in her voice silences Adora. Catra can see her thinking about her words. Then she replies: "The more unite in this war, the higher the chance of winning. Please, Catra, help the rebellion!"

The Magicat slowly tilts her head and pretends to be thinking hard. "Let me think about it for a moment ... No!" Adora's eyes widen and the spark of hope in them disappears. Again Catra feels something in her stomach area, but she decides to ignore it and instead grins broadly at Adora. "It sucks to be let down, doesn't it?" Before Adora can reply, the leader directs the word to the guards. "Put her in a cell and guard her well."

The addressed nod and roughly grab Adora by the shoulders. Meanwhile, Catra gets up and goes down the stairs until she reaches Adora. Smiling, she grabs Adora's chin and forces her to look her in the eyes. "Looks like your mine now, Adora." For a moment she looks at the widened eyes of her counterpart before she gives the guards a sign to start walking. Together they drag the prisoner to the door. She defends herself against the handles. "No, please! Catraaa!" 

Yet the Magicat does not reply, but watches as Adora is transported out of the room. Next to her, the guard who arrived first clears his throat. "You knew the intruder, strongest?" He wants to know with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. With a scowl, she turns to him and hisses. "That is none of your business!" Casually, she marches out of the hall and strolls into her room. However, as soon as she has closed the door behind her and is certain that no one can watch her, she tumbles to her knees and drops her cool, serene masquerade.

Suddenly her emotions overwhelm her and push her to the ground. Adora is here. In the Crimson Waste. The Magicat's breath is shallow. Anger rises in her. How dare Adora show up here and mess up her life ?! She made a conscious decision a year ago to leave the horde and everyone who has ever betrayed her behind. Especially this blonde traitor. Her world had been in order, she had everything under control, had the life that she wanted, and then this ... this Wannabe-princess shows up and reminds her of everything that she actually wants to forget ?!

And babble about war and aid and the end of the world. A sound of indignation escapes Catra's mouth. How dare Adora question her position. Not trusting her to be able to stand alone against Hordak! She has no right to do so. Catra took power in the Crimson Waste within a day and earned the respect of all creatures there. Within a year she built robust cities, constructed dozens of weapons and deployed warriors to establish her position and make the Crimson Waste safer. 

But dear Adora probably didn't think about that any further. Tense, Catra lets her short claws scrape the floor. Of course, Adora doesn't think about it any further. After all, it is none of their business. It is not part of her problem. Their problem is her trapped ´friends´. They are everything that matters to Adora.

But she can forget to save them. She is no longer She Ra, the savior of Etheria, but simply a prisoner who has succumbed to the mercy of her enemy. This thought is somewhat satisfying in Catra. Now it's HER turn. She won. She defeated She Ra. The Magicat waits a while for this thought to fill her with joy.

Or with satisfaction. Happiness. Any of those stupid, positive feelings. Instead, she just feels empty. That unsettles her. At the same time, as so often, it makes her angry at herself. What's wrong with her? Now she has - finally - after all these years, really EVERYTHING she wanted. And yet she doesn't feel well. A frustrated sigh escapes her as she mumbles: "I thought winning would be different ..." 

Suddenly she feels her emotions and thoughts lie on her like a load weighing tons, and she just feels exhausted. Tired, she looks out of her window, in which the late afternoon sun is shining. Whatever, she thinks and gets up to lie down on her couch. She sure just needs a few more hours of sleep, like Scorpia, and she'd be better. Then she would enjoy her victory.


	4. Chapter 4

Catra:

She is shaking all over but does not dare to move. Her ears hear everything. The noises are louder than usual tonight. She hears the howling wind, the clanking footsteps of the Horde soldiers striding through the corridors. Worst of all, she hears Shadow Weaver's creepy voice, ominously sounding in front of her bedroom. She can almost feel the creepy eyes on her, just waiting to discover another mistake in order to be able to punish her appropriately. The little girl's fur stands on end as she imagines she can feel the dark shadow tentacles wandering over her skin.

To protect herself, she bends her ears, embraces her knees with her small arms and presses her eyes tightly together. She doesn't want to see or feel anything. She just wants to get out of here. "Pssst" Startled, Catra squeaks and looks around. Her heart almost stops when she cannot discover anything. The other children have been sleeping for hours. Then there is a soft voice: "Catra? Are you awake?"

Reluctantly she stretches her head over the edge of the bed and looks down. There she meets blue-gray eyes that look up at her. But since Adora's eyes are not so good, she cannot see her friend. That's why the little Magicat doesn't look away when she whispers back as confidently as possible: "No." When she hears Catra's voice, Adora brightens up. "Do you want to come down to me?" 

She doesn't answer for a few moments. Then Catra gets up and quickly climbs down to crawl into bed with Adora. The blonde girl has already lay down again. Catra curls up at the foot of the bed without touching Adora´s legs.

It's quiet for a while. Then Adora asks: "Why aren't you sleeping? Are you scared?" Her voice sounds hesitant, cautious. Catra wants to contradict her, but says nothing, for fear her voice might tremble. Instead, she watches the blonde girl who stares at the ceiling and takes a deep breath before confessing: "I'm scared."

Catra raises her head in surprise. "Of what?", she whispers softly. Adora also raises her head and looks in the direction in which she suspects the Magicat. "Of the dark." Catra blinks a few times. She didn't know that there were things Adora was afraid of. "I'll watch over you.", she promises. Her friend doesn't reply, but her shoulders seem to relax. "The noises are so loud." Catra confesses her fear after a few moments. While doing so, she observes how Adora’s gaze becomes gentle and she assures: "I'm here." 

Carefully she reaches out a hand and Catra takes it. So the two lie down again. Catra curls up against Adora´s legs and squeezes her hand. And with Adora´s warmth and her smell it is suddenly very easy to forget the loud noises around her and to fall asleep peacefully.

..........

With a pounding heart, Catra wakes up. It's the middle of the night. For a moment she is confused, doesn't know where she is, and why Adora isn't lying next to her. Then it comes back to her. Frustrated, she knocks the blanket away. It has been two and a half years, and she's still not used to sleeping alone in a bed. That she dreamed of THAT memory of all things doesn't make it better. It feels like old wounds are being reopened. Not just the pain and the loss of a friendship. Her fears also seemed to be shaken.

It´s as if she can now hear all the nocturnal noises clearly again. She usually does that too, only it seems to have been made worse by the dream. As stupid as it was, she has not been able to completely put aside her childish fears of the loud noises. Not even in the Crimson Waste. She hears everything. A couple of crickets chirping outside, the footsteps of the guards patrolling the hallways. Someone who is dropping something a floor below her. She winces like a frightened animal and is immediately annoyed by this reaction.

Sullen, she lies on her back and closes her eyes to go back to sleep, but the noises only seem to get louder. Now she also feels an uncomfortable scratching on the stone floor. One of the residents has to drag his weapon on the floor as he walks past the main building. Catra groans and sits up.

She's no longer the scared little girl she used to be, but nightly noises still make her ... nervous. Since she doesn't seem to be getting any sleep, she gets up and walks to the window to breathe in the fresh night air for a moment. Since it is always warm in the Crimson Waste, the windows have no panes. So she can look up to the night sky unhindered. Clearly, she sees the shining stars and the moon that shines on the city, which is almost as bright as day. Shaking her head, she lets her gaze wander through the empty streets, through which a lost soul scurries only now and then. Catra cannot imagine how others with less visibility can live at night. They miss so many details, lose their bearings so easily. 

That reminds Catra of something. For a moment she weighs the thought, wants to discard it, banish it from her head. But then she turns away from the window and reaches for her jacket to slip on. Quietly, the Magicat leaves her room and begins to sneak through the corridors. It doesn't take long to reach the basement stairs. The corridor here is lit with a couple of torches, which gives human eyes scant light. 

Once at the bottom, she reaches a wooden door with two guards standing in front of it. Two of the guys who were in the hall this afternoon, Catra recognizes. She strolls calmly towards the two of them. They are visibly confused to find the Magicat at this time. Without further explanation, she says: "You can go. I'll call you when I need you." Confused, the two look at their leader. "But the prisoner -" "Hurry up!", interrupts Catra harshly and scowls at them. She can see the fear of the guards, so they just nod and leave in silence.

When Catra can no longer hear her footsteps, she stares at the door in front of her. She hesitates for a moment before reaching for the handle and pushing it down. The door has been freshly oiled, so there is no sound as she pushes it open and walks through. From here another staircase runs down, but it is narrower and significantly shorter. As silently as possible she descends the stairs and finally stops on the last step. 

She is now in a small room with a few torches hanging on the walls, but they are not lit. It would be pitch black in here for a normal person. Catra knows what is to her right when she would step out of the corridor. Carefully, she presses herself against the wall and peeks out to the right of the room. It is separated from the rest of the room by an iron grille. Behind it is a bucket and a lounger with a thin blanket. There are no windows in the cell to prevent escape attempts. The Magicat recognizes that someone is slumped on the lounger and staring at the opposite wall with open eyes. Adora. 

Catra has to swallow at the sight of her. Even from here she recognizes how tense the young woman is. Inwardly, the Magicat hits her forehead. That was a stupid idea. An insanely stupid one! She should get out of here. But when she takes a step back, she hits a step with her foot and makes a dull sound that sounds like a deafening noise in the rest of the silence. Adora also hears the noise and jerks around, eyes wide, trying to see something in the dark. "Who's there?", she asks demanding. Others wouldn't notice, but Catra hears the slight tremor in her voice.

After taking a deep breath, she leaves the stairs and enters the room. "Don't panic, princess," she mumbles, trying to sound amused. Adora looks in her direction and exhales audibly. It almost sounds annoyed. "Urgh, Catra, I really don't feel like playing your games now." Catra wants to reply something, something that sounds annoyed, mean and simply superior. But for some reason she can't bring herself to do it. That's why she just goes up to the grille and sinks to the side against it.

Adora hears Catra's footsteps and the scraping clothes on the bars as she frowns. "What are you doing there?" "What does it sound like?" "Like ... nothing." "There you go." Ready to defend herself, Adora stands up and turns to face the bars. Her look is suspicious. "What's your plan? Do you want to torture me until you can get any valuable information out of me? Or are you just bored?" "No! I just thought ...", Catra begins, grateful that Adora can't see the uncertainty in her face. Then she adds quietly, "Maybe you don't want to be alone in the dark. Whatever." 

For a moment it is completely quiet in the cell. Catra watches tensely as Adora raises her eyebrows in surprise. She slowly feels for the lounger and sits down again. After that she slides back and forth on her mat a little before admitting: "It's pretty dark here. In Bright Moon, the windows are so big that the moon always gives off a lot of light." The Magicat does not reply. So she was right that Adora has not lost her fear either. Catra doesn't want to think about how much Adora wants to be near Bright Moon at the moment. Away from her. The thought hurts, so she pushes it aside. She doesn't dare to move and instead listens to Adora´s breaths. They have a calming effect, almost like ... in former times.

Suddenly the blonde woman turns to Catra and speaks again. "Are the noises still loud?" The question does not surprise Catra, after all, Adora is still the only person who really knows her, whether an enemy or not. However, she is unsure how much she wants to reveal to Adora. But here, in the protective darkness under the veil of night, it feels so safe. Catra can almost forget that they are enemies. That's why she says quietly: "Yes." 

It's just a word, and yet there is an enormous vulnerability in her voice. All of a sudden, Catra feels naked, as if, despite the darkness, she has no protection to hide from Adora’s gaze. To hide who she is. And part of the Magicat doesn't want that at all. Not right now. This part just wants to enjoy the moment of calm that this strange situation brings with it. Adora responds with the same gentle look she gave Catra years ago when it came to her sleep problems. The look creates a lump in her throat. Quickly, she looks away.

"Sleep now," she mumbles, hoping it comes across as harsh. She avoids looking at Adora, but she can hear her lying down on the lounger. Then the blonde woman asks, quietly, hesitantly: "Will you watch over me?" There is a hopeful tone in her voice that does not only refer to the current situation. The lump slides down into Catra's stomach and contracts. The Magicat quickly pulls her knees to her chest and explains: "Don't fool yourself into it. I'm only doing this here so that you are not exhausted when you are supposed to be useful to me."

Adora’s answer comes in a mumbled and incomprehensible manner, but it becomes clear that she does not believe her. A little later, Catra listens to Adora's deep, calm breaths and allows herself to relax. Her mind is buzzing around, but she's too tired to think about how stupid this is. Too much she concentrates on the comforting calm that spreads within her and on Adora´s presence, whose quiet sleeping noises wrap around Catra´s body like a blanket and let her slowly slide into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!  
> This chapter contains a panic attack!

Catra:

A single ray of sun tickles Catra's nose as she opens her eyes. Immediately she wishes she hadn't. As she sees the prison cell in the dimmed daylight, she immediately remembers the events of the previous night. What did she think she was doing?!   
A look into the cell tells her that Adora is still asleep. The Magicat quickly gets up to sneak out of the room.

If Adora doesn't catch her waking up here, she might think she was just dreaming. She is just about to slip away when she turns back to Adora and looks at her face. You can see how worried she is right now. Catra can almost hear the thoughts of her former best friend as she blames herself for not having already tried to dig through the stone with her bare hands to get to her friends and free them. For a tiny moment, Catra cannot keep from feeling sorry for her. 

She immediately scolds herself for this thought. ´Adora is your friend, she deserves nothing other than to be devastated!´, she reminds herself. Snorting, she wants to turn around and leave when Adora sleepily opens her eyes and looks at Catra. The Magicat stops as if frozen and meets her gaze. The blonde's facial features change from confused to soft ... and then to confused again. "Catra?"

She quickly turns away and walks towards the stairs. "Where are you going, Catra?" Without turning around, the Magicat replies: "That's none of your business, princess." "No, wait!" Adora´s voice sounds almost pleading. Catra has already reached the first steps, and although Adora´s voice stirs something in her, she only decides to run faster. "Please, Catra! I beg you, think again! If you help us, we can safely defeat the Horde! You can protect the Crimson Waste, and you want that, right?" 

This makes the Magicat stop moving. Anger grips her as she turns and walks back to the cell. Adora is surprised when she sees the angry face of the leader. "Why did you have to come here?", Catra snaps at the prisoner. This is confused. "What?" "Why do you appear out of nowhere and endanger everything I have built? Why do you always have to ruin my life?!" 

"Catra, I am not putting anything in danger! The horde is the real threat!" "The Horde, huh?! Do you see the Horde making my life difficult?" Adora looks like she wants to say something back, but Catra won't let her. The anger that has built up in her for so long has to get out. "Why are you trying to take all this away from me now by pretending I can't get along without you? Realize it: I DON'T NEED you, I never have, so finally stop trying to restrict myself!" she screams angrily.

Adora looks at her former friend with wide eyes. For a moment Catra thinks she sees pain in it, but she is too upset to care. Then the blonde woman suddenly sinks to the floor in resignation. "You are right, Catra." Surprise masks her anger for a moment. The Magicat did not expect that. Adora raises her head as she continues. "You don't need me. You have always been the stronger of the two of us. I'm sorry I made you feel different. It's me who needs you."

Catra stares at the prisoner in surprise. In all these years the Magicat would never have thought to hear these words from Adora. She can't help but laugh bitterly. "After all this time you suddenly realize that you need me?!" As if she couldn't look her in the eye, Adora lowers her sight. "No, I always knew that." Her voice sounds thick. Something contracts in Catra when she steps closer to the bars. She can't stop tears from coming to her eyes when she asks quietly, "Then why did you leave me?" 

Now Adora lifts her head, there are tears in her eyes too. As she steps at the bars, she exclaims in despair, "Because I had no choice! It wouldn't have been right to stay after seeing what the Horde is up to." Bitterness and pain rise up her throat as Catra replies, "But leaving me was right?" The blonde woman shakes her head, now she looks almost reproachful. "I wanted you to come with me!" "And I wanted you to STAY with me!" 

Catra cannot prevent deep pain from ringing in her voice. Adora looks like the Magicat has punched her. In order not to lose control completely, Catra takes a deep breath and turns her back on Adora. "You were ready to do everything it takes, to give up EVERYTHING to do the right thing. You were willing to give up on ME. I don't need those kinds of 'friends'. And I don't have to risk my life for them either." 

Without waiting to see if Adora replies, she walks towards the stairs and almost runs upstairs. Air, she needs air. The Magicat rushes through the corridors and pushes the door to the outside. The guards next to her look at her but say nothing.

Half in her mind, she turns briefly to the guys and orders: "The prisoner must be guarded again. Put two of you in front of the door, but don't talk to her." "Yes, Strongest." Without further explanation, the Magicat rushes off and runs out of town. She runs and runs into the wilderness of the Crimson Waste. Only when she can no longer perceive any other living being apart from herself does she stop and inhale heavily. And then she can't help but scream angrily. She roars out her pain and drops to her knees as tears run down her face in the middle of nowhere. 

Everything is back. The pain, the memories, the feelings. Everything that she has tried so desperately to suppress collapses on her like a tsunami. She believed that here, in the Crimson Waste, she could finally free herself from Adora´s influence. To finally make of herrself what no one has seen in her: someone who is powerful. Who is strong. Who is worthy. 

But she was wrong. It doesn't even take a few minutes in Adora’s presence and everything returns. Their anger, their pain ... their vulnerability. She wipes her face angrily. Maybe she is actually weak. Perhaps unworthy indeed.   
These thoughts stab her chest like daggers and she only breathes in spurts. Her chest seems to be constricting and suddenly she feels a panic rise within her, dark and uncontrollable. Catra is breathing faster reflexively, but the panic increases. Unable to move, she tries to focus on something else. Then she hears voices in her head.  
…..

“How someone is unmotivated as you completed the course in that time i´ll never know.”

“Adora is not here to protect you anymore.”

“I´ve come to expect such diygraeful behaviour from you.”

“This was a test. You failed.”

“I´ve kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you.”

“You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me.”

“Adora did´t run away from the horde, she ran away from you.”

“Your former Force Captain has proven to be compromised, ineffective, and worthless.”

…..

Catra's vision blurs, she cannot breathe. In a panic, she tries to move, to SURVIVE. But she can't. Nothing works anymore. The panic has taken control. She is trapped in her own body. A pitiful whimper escapes her when she fears that she will have to die now. And then suddenly there is a light. A soft, warm voice.

“It doesn´t matter what they do to us. You look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.”

Slowly, painfully slowly, the panic in her sinks, pulling back into the hole from which it crawled. After a while, Catra's vision clears up. Her lungs suck in fresh air, she can breathe again. When her mind returns, she notices that she is lying on her side on the dusty floor. For a while she doesn't dare to move. Only when she is sure that she will not have to die does she breathe. deeply and carefully moves her hand. It can be bent as easily as usual. 

Catra stands up carefully so that she is sitting on the floor. She doesn't trust her legs yet, so she remains seated and stares at her hands. What was that? She had a panic attack. She's never had one. At least not to that extent. She has lost control. It must have been too much, concludes the Magicat.

Actually, this realization would have made her angry that she is so weak and that she can be defeated by a panic attack. But the shock is still too deep in her bones. To calm herself down, she lets the warming sun on her face distract her. Tender rays of sun wander over her fur and dispel the shadows on her body. Over time, Catra's muscles relax and her heart beats at a normal pace again so that she feels strong enough to get up again. A little wobbly on her feet, she makes her way back into town. 

It takes a while, but eventually Catra reaches the city limits. As soon as she passed it, her posture changes. She walks upright and puts on her hard, impenetrable expression so as not to let her attack of weakness show. Most people do not dare to stare at or provoke the Magicat any longer while she is walking through the streets. That´s why she can reach the main building unhindered and slips inside. After a few flights of stairs she reaches her room and is about to go in when she meets Scorpia.

“Whoops, sorry! Didn´t see you there, Wildcat!”, the tall woman apologizes as she balances a tray full of food. Catra raises an eyebrow, irritated. "What is this, Scorpia?" The addressee notices the Magicat's gaze on the tray. Suddenly she looks embarrassed. "Well, I haven't seen you this morning and thought you don´t feel well and you might want a late lunch?" A little overwhelmed, Catra winks at the woman in front of her. At the same moment she feels how hungry she actually is. 

"Uhhm .. well, bring it to my room then." Scorpia seems relieved when she nods eagerly and the Magicat follows into her room. She doesn't have a table, so Catra sits down on the floor. Scorpia puts the tray next to it and then stands in the room for a moment, indecisive. Almost embarrassed, Catra reaches for a piece of bread and looks at the floor. "Are you waiting for a written invitation to sit down?" 

Scorpia breathes in audibly as if she hadn't expected this invitation, and the Magicat can't blame her. The big woman sits down next to Catra and starts to talk about what she did this morning. Usually it annoys the Magicat when Scorpia babbles to herself, but today she's grateful for it. It distracts her from her confused thoughts while she satisfies her stomach.

After a while she is full, but makes no move to move. Instead, she pulls her knees to her chest and stares into space. Scorpia does not escape the behavior either. Worriedly, she looks at the strongest of the Crimson Waste. "Everything OK?" Catra bites her lip before she asks: "Do you know about Adora?" A nod. "Some of the boys talked this morning that we have a prisoner named Adora. And that she wanted your help." Catra snorts and continues staring at the wall. 

Scorpia carefully looks sideways at the Magicat. "Do you want to talk about it?" "No." Catra's voice sounds exhausted. Both are silent for a while, until Catra asks quietly: "Do you sometimes think of the past? About the time at the Horde?" For the first time, Scorpia doesn't seem to have a flood of words ready. "Well, I mean, yes ... I think so. Sometimes I think of our old friends there. Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio ... and what we went through together. And of course I often think of Entrapta and the fun the three of us had. You know, as a Super Pal Trio. I wonder what they're doing and if they´re fine. " 

The tall woman notices Catra's scrutinizing look as she quickly adds: "But I don't regret coming here. The horde was nothing for me. I mean, it's nice here, the climate is good for me and I'm happy. And so are you. You're happy, aren't you? " Her words sound cautious, hesitant. Catra is silent for a moment. Then she exhales audibly. "I .. I think you should go now. I want to rest before I get on with some chores later." From the corner of her eye the Magicat notices how Scorpia's shoulders sink down. "Oh yes of course." 

She sounds disappointed, but gets up quickly and is about to step out the door when Catra holds her back again. "Scorpia?" The tall woman looks at her questioningly. Catra swallows and takes her eyes off the wall to look at her. "Thank you. For the food." A smile spreads across the Scorpion woman's face before she leaves the room.

After a few minutes in which Catra collects herself, she also leaves the room and takes care of some tasks that are due today. Fortunately, it doesn't take long before she's done with it and has time to herself. To be alone, she moves to the roof of the main building and lets her thoughts wander while she lets her eyes wander over the city. She thinks of Scorpia's words, and also of the argument with Adora this morning. 

After making the decision to stay in the Crimson Waste with Scorpia, she was determined to leave it all behind. To forget her old life and start all over again. Yet her past haunted her for a whole year, and yesterday it managed to catch up with her. What should the Magicat do now? Run away again? Hoping to win the race against the past this time? It seems hopeless to her.

But what is the alternative? Release Adora? Even helping her save the friends and the world that her best friend left her because of? This thought arouses two different feelings in her. Defiance because Adora didn't deserve better. Because she should see what it's like to lose the people who are most important to you. And something like ... resignation. Because Catra cannot forget the blonde woman's gaze. Desperate and lost. Ready to give up on herself to save her world. 

That look seems to haunt Catra, and although she struggles against it, it touches her. He speaks to the small part in Catra's heart that Adora cannot forget. Who longs to be with her again. Make you laugh. Not to be alone anymore. To be 'happy' with her.

No matter what she tries, she cannot escape the chains that bind her to Adora. Maybe she never wanted that. When Catra perceives these thoughts, which she has suppressed for an eternity, she snorts in frustration and hits the stone floor with her fist. Her ankles protest in pain when the abrasions are reopened, but Catra doesn't care. The pain is a distraction from their confused thoughts. 

To stay focused, Catra takes a deep breath.  
Okay, she has several options how to proceed:   
First, she lets Adora rot forever in the cell. However, the Magicat then has to constantly struggle with the certainty that Adora is not far from her.   
Second, to finally separate from her past: She can let Adora go alone, knowing that she will run headlessly into her doom.   
Third, she could send some members of the former gang with Adora to help her. However, Catra does not trust these guys enough, and she does not believe that they are actually fighting lizards with full commitment for another realm.   
Or the fourth option ... The thought costs another sigh. Fourth, she goes with Adora and prevents her from doing any stupid thing that will cost her her life. 

The Magicat doesn't know how long she sat there on the roof and brooded, but at some point she gets up with a deep sigh. She made a decision.


	6. Chapter 6

Adora:

Even though the Crimson Waste is a desert, it's surprisingly cold down here. And gloomy. Even during the day, the sun only lights up Adora’s cell dimly. Shortly after Catra left this morning, one of the guards came and gave Adora something to eat. After that she was left alone. It drives her crazy. The whole time she has been walking up and down the cell and cannot rest. Her thoughts are only on worrying about Bow and Glimmer. 

It was now five days since Adora had last seen them. If only she would have been more careful! Too many times she hits the bars in frustration. Instead of at least attempting to free them, she is now stuck here. With Catra. The thought of the Magicat creates a tangle of mixed emotions in her stomach. 

Adora heard rumors before her trip that the Crimson Waste had a new leader. It was these rumors that gave them the idea of coming here in the first place. But Adora would never have dreamed of finding her former best friend! When she saw her sitting on that throne, she couldn't believe it. It seemed like an eternity since they last met, and at the same time it felt like only yesterday. And as if their first meeting wasn't strange enough, yesterday night topped it off. 

It was like they'd just forgotten all their rivalries and been ... friends again. But whatever was that night is gone this morning. A stone forms in Adora's stomach when she thinks about the terrible argument from a few hours ago. When Catra had thrown her pain openly in her face like a hand grenade she was not prepared for.

Since then she has been thinking of the words of the Magicat. And again she feels guilty from back then. That she wasn't more persistent. That she gave up on Catra so easily. And in a small part of her heart she still feels something. Something like ... longing. 

Irritated, the blonde woman shakes and begins to wander back and forth in her cell. She doesn't have time to deal with her feelings now. She has to save her friends! And take back her sword! So maybe all is lost ... But how is she supposed to get out of here? She has already thought through all the escape routes. It even occurred to her to try to dig through the stone with her bare hands! But none of the ideas are actually helpful. She has to let Catra do that: she gives her prisoners no hope of escape. A desperate sigh slips from her as her thoughts wander back to her friends.

What would the two of them do if they were in Adora´s situation? Glimmer wouldn't hesitate long and teleport them all out, Adora recognizes immediately and has to smile sadly. Bow would try to ambush the guards. Perhaps he would have the perfect arrow with him, which is filled with sleeping pills or can blind you or the tip is made of a cactus or - "Do you want to keep walking until you pass out from exhaustion?" suspects a familiar voice, amused. 

Startled, Adora turns around and sees Catra leaning against the landing, her arms crossed and her watchful eyes fixed on Adora. The blonde woman didn't hear her coming. Curse her talent in sneaking! "How long have you been standing there?" Adora wants to know and tries to hide how embarrassed she is that she didn't notice Catra. The Magicat twisted its mouth into a grin. There is no longer any sign of the pain on her face this morning. But Catra has always been good at covering up her feelings. 

"A while." gives it vaguely to embarrass Adora even more. But this is now occupied with another question. "Why are you here?" It is quiet for a moment. Catra's grin disappears. Instead, she puts on an impenetrable expression, "I've been thinking." Adora raises an eyebrow in irritation. "About what?" "I'll do it." Adora opens her mouth in surprise and closes it again. 

Catra holds the blonde woman's gaze as she approaches her and continues: "I'll help you free your friends and get your stupid sword back. But a few things should be clarified." Her tone is hard and harsh, but Adora hardly notices it. She feels a growing hope. Now she would be able to save her friends after all! She has a chance! When she sees Catra's serious expression, she suppresses her thoughts and concentrates on the woman in front of her. "And that would be?" 

Concerns rise within her, unsure of what the Magicat will say next. "First of all: only I will accompany you. Nobody else." "But -" Adora wants to protest. Together they would hardly have a better chance than alone. Not even with the other princesses. But Catra continues: "However, I will send reinforcements if we need them." That's not what Adora would like to hear, but she takes what she gets.

"Second: when I go with you, you have to realize that I'm not your sidekick following orders. I'll help you, but that doesn't give you the right to order me around." Adora protests mentally. She would never have done that! She knows herself that Catra doesn't listen to anyone anyway. On the other hand, she is aware that sometimes she unintentionally plays the leader. That already got on Glimmer's nerves in the past. Catra seems to know that too. The Magicat continues to speak, and her gaze bores even more into Adora´s eyes.

"Third, you should know that I'm not doing this for you. I still have an account with Hordak that I want to settle." Adora swallows, ignoring the stinging that suddenly spreads in her chest. At the same time she wonders what happened between Hordak and Catra. She nods silently so that Catra can finish speaking. "And finally," she explains, "my help is tied to a condition. Something in return." 

The way Catra emphasizes the words makes Adora feel sick. What does Catra want from her? The Magicat knows them better than anyone. She knows Adora will do anything to help her friends. What will she ask of Adora with this knowledge? What will the price of a chance of salvation be? Swallowing, Adora looks at the woman in front of her before she hesitantly asks: "And what should I do for you?"

Catra's pupils narrow to slits when she replies with no apparent emotion: "In return, you will disappear from my life. Forever. As soon as the matter is settled, I don't want to see you anymore." 

Adora can't stop her gasping. She expected a lot. Bad, criminal, humiliating things that Catra would ask of her. But THAT? Somehow this request feels worse than anything expected. The stinging in her chest reappears. Pain. It hurts her that Catra so openly shows that she no longer wants her in her life. But if that's truly what she wants ... and if it helps save her friends, then she would accept that request. 

So Adora nods and replies flatly: "I agree." The Magicat's only response is a blink. For a moment, Adora wondered whether Catra might have hoped that Adora would resist this demand. Then the Magicat says, "Good. Scorpia will bring you some food later. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning." With that she turns around and leaves the room. And leaves the blonde prisoner with an even more confused carousel of thoughts than before, a stone in the stomach area, but also a spark of hope in her heart.

Catra:

"You are really leaving?" Scorpia exclaims in horror. Catra took her to her room after she was with Adora and told her about her plan. The Magicat shrugs her shoulders unimpressed. "I'll be back in no time." Scorpia looks at her allie with concern. "Why don't you let Adora go alone? Who knows what could happen to you! Do you have any idea what Hordak will do to you if he gets his hands on you? Have you thought about the whole thing well?" 

Catra lets out a snort when she replies: "Oh, believe me: I thought about it for a long time and went through all the possibilities. In the end, that's the best choice. If I let Adora go, she runs blindly into her doom without doing any damage to the Horde. Also, this is the perfect opportunity to take my revenge on Hordak! He's supposed to pay for wanting to send me to my death! And if I solve the Horde problem now, we won't have to worry about it to defend the crimson waste. " 

She turns her face to the window so she doesn't have to look Scorpia in the eye. Yes, that's why she's coming. Now all she has to do is convince herself that there aren't others. After taking a deep breath, she looks back at the large woman next to her.

Her worried look still hasn't gone. Catra sticks out her chin almost defiantly. "And besides, I can take care of myself. I conquered the Crimson Waste within a day, so Hordak will be a piece of cake for me. I can do it." Surprisingly, a gentle smile appears on Scorpia's face, which confuses the Magicat. "I know that.", explains the tall woman and puts an arm around Catra to pull her close. "We can do this." 

Catra quickly wriggles out of the grip of her counterpart before asking: "We?" Scorpia grins broadly and winks. "I'm definitely not going to let you go alone, Wildcat!" "Oh yes, you will.", contradicts Catra and tries to ignore the warmth that Scorpia's words cause in her. The tall woman looks horrified. "But we are a team!" "You´re right.", confirms the Magicat and looks tall woman in the eye. "And that's exactly why I have an important task for you." 

She hesitates for a moment before raising a hand and placing it on Scorpia's shoulder. It is very rare for Catra to seek physical contact on her own, so Scorpia seems to realize how important what she is saying is to her. "In the time that I will be gone, you will replace me here." 

Scorpia gasps in surprise, and before she can reply, Catra adds, almost gently, "I need you here. I know you're up to the task." For a while Scorpia seems to have no words. "Catra, I ..." Then she takes a breath and looks determinedly at the Magicat. "I will not disappoint you!" A small smile appears on Catra's face. "That's what I'm expecting." 

And then Scorpia can no longer hold back and closes Catra in a tight hug. Exceptionally, the Magicat doesn´t push her away.   
Maybe because she knows it means a lot to Scorpia.   
Maybe beacause Catra feels inside that she needs that hug as much as Scorpia does at the moment. 

Maybe because it could be the last time the two of them see each other.


End file.
